As we discussed marriage preparation this week, we addressed the different stages of choosing an eternal companion. I found that predictors for a successful marriage were extremely important but often unnoticed in the process of dating. I have realized that the manner by which you date often reflects patterns that are found in marriage. As we date casually, or exclusively, we are experiencing the mannerisms, attitudes, and habits of potential companions. The things that we observe can serve as warning signs, or indicators of a successful marriage. After reflecting on past dating experiences, I realize how important dating is. Many see dating as a chore, but without getting to know those around you, there are so many opportunities that go unnoticed. In order to get to know someone well enough to consider marriage, it is so important to see them in a number off environments and situations. Dating should entail numerous activities that are diverse in nature. The best dates give each participant an opportunity to truly get to know the other. These experiences serve as indicators of whether a relationship would be successful or not. The proper process of dating is a dying tradition, but need to be revived in order to result in more successful marriages.
One of my favorite discussions this week included the introduction of the relationship attachment model (or RAM model). This model shows how relationships can grow to be most successful. It indicates that the proper sequence of relationship progression should include; getting to know the other, gaining trust in your significant other, being able to rely on them, committing to the relationship, and showing intimacy through touch. This specific order is crucial. One must know their significant other before being able to trust them. As trust develops, you can then rely on your significant other, and so on. This order should not be rearranged if a healthy and successful relationship is the ultimate goal. I found this RAM model very helpful, and i will be referring to it frequently in the future.
http://www.codependencynomore.com/session16/
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