Transitions in Marriage

Seeing as I am not married, and never have been, I often feel inadequate as I explain how marriage ties in to family relations. This week, we discussed the transition points in marriage. The initial marriage, and having children seemed to be the most obvious transitions in marriage. The initial marriage is both an exciting, but also very stressful event. When two individuals get married, they are meshing two completely different family cultures and backgrounds. When a couple gets engaged and begins planning a wedding, they are (or should be) encouraging both sides of the family to work together in executing such an important event. Once the couple is married, it can be difficult to incorporate the two separate cultures into one household. I assume that this is one of the reasons that most marriages fail very early on. Having to mesh the two lifestyles requires much cooperation, negotiation, and compromise.

Having children is considered one of the other major transitions in a marriage. Incorporating children into the family unit can surely shake things up. Introducing a child calls for just as much cooperation , negotiation, and compromise as the initial marriage. For most of our time in class, we discussed the strains that having a child can have, and how to avoid them. We discussed that having a child can especially make the father feel distanced as the mother is preoccupied with nurturing the child. Often times, mothers also suffer with postpartum depression, which can also strain the relationship between husband and wife. The wife often feels overwhelmed as she is now responsible for the nurture of another human being. In order to avoid marital strain, we concluded that it is important to include the husband in the maternal experiences of pregnancy, and the nurture of the newborn child, It is also crucial for the husband to help his wife in any way that he can as she tries to nurture the child as best as she can. Cooperation is necessary for marital happiness when a new child is introduced.